consoling the bereaved

Buprenorphine Post
MChaplin
Posts: 183

Postby MChaplin » Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:13 am

Thanks ken and others- it went better than expected. What I did was try to unite with her against the disease. I told her we both did all we good but she had a devastating illness and in the end that is what killed her. She said after that what grave her a small amount of relief was my saying this outcome was inevitable and that if she hadn't died on that attempt she would have continued to suffer until her eventful demise. Like end stage cancer. It seemed that by hearing me say that I had done the best I could and so had she- she was able to forgive herself a little which I think was the real issue. Much as I was nervous about a lawsuit I have complete confidence that I did nothing wrong and nothing out of the standard of care. And I did tell her that I had acted in accordance with practice guidelines. Unfortunately she is still filled with self blame- and sorrow.

m_kaylor
Posts: 22

Postby m_kaylor » Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:13 am

Sorry you have to deal with this. It sounds like you did the best you could and a bad outcome isn't due to your negligence. I understand where NoDrugs4u is coming from but I think not meeting with her would have been a mistake and make her more frustrated. Frustrated people who don't feel validated seem more likely to turn to legal system to get that validation. I hope the meeting went well and both you and her walked away feeling okay about the situation. Keep us updated, I'll be thinking of you

NoDrugs4u
Posts: 198

Postby NoDrugs4u » Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:13 am

RUN, don't walk, to your malpractice attorney's office and don't say a word to this woman until you do so! I smell a whopper of a lawsuit heading your way.

They don't have a shred of a case because you were following protocol, but juries don't care about the law, they just vote for who tells the sadest story.

drpasser
Posts: 1404

Postby drpasser » Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:13 am

I've had pts who have died. Some from OD. Each time, I went to the funeral.

Sorry for you.

Sucks!

:-(

kcairns
Posts: 571

Postby kcairns » Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:13 am

McChaplin, real quick d/t you meeting soon, it is very good you meeting w mom and share nondefensively in her very desperate grief, along the way if can, let her know you part of this webboard who know you as very good at what you do, you could show her if she seems ok w it guidance info re benzo w bup, a dangerous combo and doing correct med you could not have done otherwise than what you did, you had gi in on the case - excellent -- ps where was xanax rxer in all this? , you could also pull up much data on dangeres of xanax even w/o bup and not for long term use, of course you are sorry she had neg things to say re you, but dont argue these, very bottom line, your rx of her was perfectly in best standards of care and it was her choice to stop bup rx and you or mom or no one can control or is responsible for any persons choice or can make it for them ...(ps it is really worrisome what hold bzd and xanax get on people and how easily docs rx and escalate them so freely -- )..the case is not about you, and keep knowing that u did right no matter how much mom may or not continue to say and no matter how srtrong self doubts may try to jump into you mind, tell them NO, and replace them w all-certainty that you did all right ....and you , McChaplin keep moving ahead and focused and saving lives in this most vital and high risk area of med care where what you do saves so many lives and is so vital and needed...as you speak w mom keep in you knowlede that you may remain very calm knowing you tried correctly to save this poor womans daughter and made no mistakes and daily you are saving more life than anyone on earth


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